Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Flee Enterprise

Who figured out that you could sell crap? Some genius got the idea that you could have a free enterprise solution for getting rid of pollution, stuff with definitely negative worth. We have, for instance, a market in GHG "credits" created out of thin air by just allowing every one to foul up the environment a little and then letting those who don't pollute sell their "credits" to the greedy, negligent industries who can go on adulterating our air and water for a small added cost of doing business.

I suggest the GOP put its love of free enterprise to good use in their hour [well two months would be better ] of need. They should posit that everybody with any power on capitol hill has an "indiscretion allowance" that permits them to nail exactly one page with impunity..no one will tell on them and no one will confront them: business as usual and as it has been for at least the last 5 years. Let them choose the gender of the page...we aren't hypocrits here! For those who find power to be too much of an aphrodesiac ( and what a powerful one it must be if the man with the congressional specialty of protecting underage people from sexual preditors cast caution to the wind more lustily than a sailor on leave?), there would be a market in "congressional lust and cover-up credits" whereby representatives and staffers who keep their pants on and their keyboards pristinely businesslike can sell their allowances to the Lascivious Legislators in return for a favorable vote [but that requires the Lascivious Legislator to actually show up in the House during business hours, bummer!] or a negotiable sum of unused campaign monies if the Lascivious Legislator is so endowed. Now there may not have been enough money and votes for the Republican Foley* to buy his way out but at least Hastert [a name I have labored in vain to not use in the same sentence with the word "sex" as it will surely cause nightmares] could buy a cover-up credit from the staffers from whom he is now fixing to steal those credits. See how free enterprise works?

Oh. Yeah. Well, strictly speaking you are right, we still have pollution. But its paid for! Free enterprise cleaned up the environment, surely it can clean up the House of Representatives!

*note, it is necessary to correctly label all lascivious legislators as to party affiliation in order to correct someone at Fox News who just can't stand it that their favorite party puts sexual predators in congress...so they misreport the guy's party in their coverage!

On a slightly less snarky note, does anyone have the data on whether Foley only went for pages of Republican Representatives? I could be mistaken but since both Democrats and Repulicans have been with us for more than one generation they both manage to procreate. Thus it seems likely libido could be found on either side of the isle. If sex isn't an equal opportunity sin, the Republicans have only their up tight religious backers to blame. [Gawd, can't you just hear Bill Clinton smiling and saying to himself "what goes around.."?]

[Have I been reading too much Wonkette?]

And, all snark aside, I agree with every liberal commentator who finds it somewhere between ironic an truly sick that a pattern of sexual misconduct and coverup brings down an administration when any amount of thoroughly exposed
  1. lying to precipitate a mistaken and badly run war,
  2. violating human rights,
  3. abrogating the constitution,
  4. letting civilians die horribly for want of competant emergency management,
  5. vetoing a law passed to express the nation's wish to investigate stem cell based medicine,
  6. putting the nation in ruinous debt,
  7. botching the diplomacy needed to isolate the countries that really were developing WMD and
  8. possibly tampering with vote counts
left that administration so unmoved that it was still mulling plans to bomb or invade Iran.

1 comment:

The Ridger, FCD said...

Ah, but it was sexual misconduct that they used last time around, so it's actually fitting and cosmically just.